Domestic investigations: what to know first

Domestic concerns are among the hardest things people bring to an investigator. A partner may be hiding something, a child's welfare may be in question during the other parent's time, or someone may be following, threatening, or harassing you. These situations call for discretion, a clear understanding of what can lawfully be done, and a plan that puts safety first. This guide covers what domestic investigations generally involve, the limits they stay within, and when an attorney or the police should be part of the picture.

This article is general information, not legal advice.

Safety first

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are dealing with domestic abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offers confidential support. If you think your phone, email, or car is being monitored, reach out for help from a device and place you trust. An investigation is not a substitute for emergency help or for a safety plan.

What domestic investigations cover

Infidelity concerns. Whether a spouse or partner is being truthful about where they are and who they are with.
Custody-related concerns. Documenting conditions or conduct relevant to a child's welfare, usually at an attorney's direction.
Stalking and harassment. Identifying who is responsible and documenting a pattern that can support a police report or a court filing.
Threats, blackmail, and extortion. Understanding who is behind a demand, alongside law enforcement.
Pre-marital research. Verifying what a future spouse has said about their background.

Discreet and lawful

Discretion means the matter stays confidential, contact happens in the way you choose, and the work is planned so the other person does not learn of it. Lawful means staying inside clear limits. Investigators may conduct surveillance in public places, research public records, document harassment you receive, check your own home, car, and devices for tracking equipment, and examine phones you own. They do not break into a partner's phone or email, install tracking devices unlawfully, record private conversations without the consent the law requires, pose as police, or confront anyone.

Those limits protect you. Information gathered unlawfully can hurt your position in a divorce or custody case and can expose you to liability. The same applies to what you do on your own, so talk before you act. For how lawful fieldwork looks in practice, see surveillance investigations: what to expect.

When to involve an attorney

A divorce or custody case is pending or likely.
You may want to use findings in court.
Money, property, or hidden assets are part of the concern.
You are considering an order of protection.
You are unsure whether something you have already done, or plan to do, is lawful.

Some people have their attorney engage the investigator so the work is directed toward what the case actually needs. Your attorney can advise whether that makes sense for you.

When to involve the police

Call the police when there are threats of violence, ongoing stalking or harassment, extortion demands, violations of a court order, or suspected abuse or neglect of a child. Suspected child abuse or neglect can also be reported to your state's child protective services agency. An investigator does not replace law enforcement. Careful documentation can help when you make a report.

If you are being stalked or harassed

Keep a dated log of each incident: what happened, where, and who saw it.
Save messages, voicemails, and screenshots, and back them up somewhere safe.
Do not respond to or engage the person.
Tell trusted people at home and at work, and vary routines where you can.
If you suspect a hidden tracker or listening device, see bug sweeps and counter-surveillance before you search on your own.

What to have ready

A short timeline of what has happened and what worries you
The other person's name, photo, vehicles, addresses, and usual schedule
Any messages, logs, or records you already have
Details of any court case, order, or attorney involved
A safe way to reach you, and times to avoid

What to expect

An investigation reports facts, not a verdict on the relationship. Findings may confirm a concern, rule it out, or leave questions open, and any of those can be difficult to hear. Plan for support from people you trust, and for your next step, whatever the findings show.

Talk it through

TB Defense is based in Chicago and led by a Chicago Police officer with 20 years of service, with investigators who work locally, nationally, and internationally. Every matter is handled confidentially, starting with what is happening and what you need to know. Read how we handle domestic investigations, or Get protected from a device you trust.

Common questions

Are domestic investigations confidential?

They are handled confidentially and discreetly, with contact made in the way the client chooses. Confidentiality can be limited where a subpoena, court order, or law requires disclosure.

Can an investigator get into my partner's phone or email?

No. Accessing another person's phone or accounts without permission raises serious legal issues and can hurt your position in a divorce or custody case. Investigators work through lawful methods such as public-place surveillance and records research.

Should I talk to an attorney before hiring an investigator for a domestic matter?

If a divorce or custody case is pending or likely, if you may use findings in court, or if assets or an order of protection are involved, it is wise to speak with an attorney first. Some people have their attorney engage the investigator.

When should I call the police instead?

Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Contact the police about threats of violence, ongoing stalking or harassment, extortion, violations of a court order, or suspected child abuse or neglect. An investigator does not replace law enforcement.

Domestic investigations: what to know before you start